Alone

It's really gratifying to see the little blog community that has formed in the last few months -- the few of us who band together through comments and mutual links as fellow screenwriters or aspiring screenwriters. In my daily struggles and frustrations I no longer feel alone.

And yet, in another way, I am as alone as I have always been. The one thing I have noticed jumping from one screenwriting blog to another is that I am decidedly different in one thing -- not gender, or style or genre. I am a conservative Republican.

There, I said it. I hope that having admitted my political affiliations (which should have been rather obvious from my other blog links) that you will not deem to dismiss me or my work. I do not wish to alienate those of you whom I have met in the last few months. But I do feel as if I am a minority in this community. I am always happy to see when other writers release their political frustrations, but I refrain from comment or debate simply because I do not wish to be considered for my politics first. I consider myself a writer, period. I have no political agenda nor do I wish to convince you or convert you. I am not an evangelist nor am I a fundamentalist. I'm a conservative.

But I do stand alone among you. I do not want pity or sympathy. I know my odds in this town where I stay mostly closeted in my political views, for fear of facing a backlash. I'm the one smiling and nodding wordlessly when confronted with anti-Bush rhetoric at gatherings. And this sometimes makes me lonely.

Tonight I'm lonely. I just want to tell great stories. I want to write without agenda but not be judged by anyone else's. Is that asking too much? Can I attend a class or a social gathering and not be subjected to the snarky or acidic commentary on the politics of our country? Apparently not.

I've thought a lot about whether to address this on my blog. If you search through the archives, you will find that I was passionate during the election, but my focus shifted after the first of the year. I found the truth of my blog, what it meant for me and it wasn't politics. There are plenty of other great blogs to visit and read about this right or left political viewpoint. The number of blogs about struggling writers is small and I am happy to be in the midst of those who also share their thoughts, feelings and actions in the writing world.

I think I'm also just feeling moody tonight. Feeling like I won't finish my spec by month's end as I let the stresses around me close in. Hopefully I'll be able to shut them out this weekend and focus on crafting pages.

I appreciate your patronage. I appreciate your blogs, if you have them. When I discover another great writer, I add them to my blogroll. I'm barely keeping up these last few days. If I've missed you, let me know. It's nice to feel not so alone.