Friday, June 10, 2005

Alone

It's really gratifying to see the little blog community that has formed in the last few months -- the few of us who band together through comments and mutual links as fellow screenwriters or aspiring screenwriters. In my daily struggles and frustrations I no longer feel alone.

And yet, in another way, I am as alone as I have always been. The one thing I have noticed jumping from one screenwriting blog to another is that I am decidedly different in one thing -- not gender, or style or genre. I am a conservative Republican.

There, I said it. I hope that having admitted my political affiliations (which should have been rather obvious from my other blog links) that you will not deem to dismiss me or my work. I do not wish to alienate those of you whom I have met in the last few months. But I do feel as if I am a minority in this community. I am always happy to see when other writers release their political frustrations, but I refrain from comment or debate simply because I do not wish to be considered for my politics first. I consider myself a writer, period. I have no political agenda nor do I wish to convince you or convert you. I am not an evangelist nor am I a fundamentalist. I'm a conservative.

But I do stand alone among you. I do not want pity or sympathy. I know my odds in this town where I stay mostly closeted in my political views, for fear of facing a backlash. I'm the one smiling and nodding wordlessly when confronted with anti-Bush rhetoric at gatherings. And this sometimes makes me lonely.

Tonight I'm lonely. I just want to tell great stories. I want to write without agenda but not be judged by anyone else's. Is that asking too much? Can I attend a class or a social gathering and not be subjected to the snarky or acidic commentary on the politics of our country? Apparently not.

I've thought a lot about whether to address this on my blog. If you search through the archives, you will find that I was passionate during the election, but my focus shifted after the first of the year. I found the truth of my blog, what it meant for me and it wasn't politics. There are plenty of other great blogs to visit and read about this right or left political viewpoint. The number of blogs about struggling writers is small and I am happy to be in the midst of those who also share their thoughts, feelings and actions in the writing world.

I think I'm also just feeling moody tonight. Feeling like I won't finish my spec by month's end as I let the stresses around me close in. Hopefully I'll be able to shut them out this weekend and focus on crafting pages.

I appreciate your patronage. I appreciate your blogs, if you have them. When I discover another great writer, I add them to my blogroll. I'm barely keeping up these last few days. If I've missed you, let me know. It's nice to feel not so alone.

11 comments:

The Moviequill said...

I am relatively new to blogging (well, with my own, but not with commenting) so I am proud to belong to a community of writers. The linking and commenting aspect of it really does make me feel I am part of 'something'. I guess most of the day I am alone with my head bursting at the seams with thoughts, that it is nice to sit back, sip a coffee and read what is in YOUR heads for a change (smiles). I am off to Vegas for a week tomorrow, see ya when I get back

Kid Sis said...

Don't stress about your spec - you'll get it done. Baby steps. Pick a small goal every day, whatever that might be for you, and get that done. I always find when I ask too much of myself I get overwhelmed and do nothing, whereas if I put 2 or 3 pages a day as my goal, suddenly I'm writing again...

Craig Mazin said...

You wrote:

"I am a conservative Republican."

You are not alone. :)

But it's hard, isn't it? The whole thing where people assume you're a liberal and make comments, and you sort of make a quick calculation as to whether it's worth it to grind the entire conversation to a halt by coming out of the closet?

There's more of us than you think. Hell, living in Liberopolis is probably good for us. Humbling.

Anonymous said...

u need a personals ad. heres a start

conservative republican writer in la-la land seeks other for possible significance

turn-ons: professional poetry, final drafts, bush

turn-offs: rough drafts, democrats, unprofesional prose

with me or against me. loneliness not tolerated

just an idea

Moses said...

I'm a liberal, real liberal I suppose and I feel for you (must be liberal if I'm stealing one of Clinton's signature lines right.) I'm now living in a state where my views are, how shall we say it, heretical.

But it's cool. How it is. But it'd be cooler if people wouldn't be so rabid about it, whatever way you choose to lean. Seems we can't even let people have their own minds anymore.

It's hokey I know, but a good heart isn't a partisan heart. Anyway, I feel for you. Keep the chin up. Love your site.

Bryan N. said...

It must be as lonely as being a staunch Libertarian which is exactly why I refrain from posting about politics on my blog. If somebody wants my political opinion on something they are welcome to ask me via email or in person but it won't appear on my blog. If I want political discussion I'll find an outlet. My blog is about writing and that's the way it will remain.

There's no reason to bring anything upon yourself in the professional realm for your political views, especially those expressed on the internet.

Shawna said...

To Moviequill: Hope you had a good trip!

Kid Sis: Good advice. I'm trying not to stress too much. The ABC Fellowship deadline is the end of the month so I'm feeling the heat.

Craig: Wow. Thanks, man. It means a lot to know you are out there. I really do appreciate your site.

Anon: Well, I am single...

Moses: We'll learn to bond by being our individual colors in a sea of opposing political stripes. Or some weird metaphor like that. Stay with me, and we'll survive together. Consider yourself added to the blog list.

Bryan: I keep forgetting to add you to the blogroll. I'll do it today. You have a really great post about reading good/bad scripts.

You all rule. :-) Now get back to writing!!

Joshua said...

I'm not quite sure what "conservative republican" means these days, and I'd love for you to respond (Craig, too, if he wishes) what it means for you, exactly.

I'm neither a Dem or Rep - I'm conservative about some issues (responsible government spending, immigration) and liberal about others (equal rights, separation of church and state) - but I am a strong believer in honesty and responsibility, and a lot of the anger out there toward conservatives is rooted in the belief that the public at large has been lied too and that our soldiers are dying because of that lie.

This anger would have happened had any president, regardless of political orientation, done what current President has done leading up to the Iraq war.

I don't know that the current leadership of our country is the conservative republicanism I grew up with - not with the spending plan they have in place, not the changes they have and continue to make to the constitution, etc - does it still mean what it used to, for you?

You've not said why you're a conservative republican, I guess, and that's what I'd most like to know. Are you against gays having the same rights as everyone else? Are you against the separation of church and state, and for prayer in school? I ask not in anger - just in the interest of pure exchange of ideas - most of the conservative republicans I've met (I live in nyc, but I'm from Iowa) are not the most approachable, reasonable folks, in fact, they are as angry as the liberals you've written about. So let's start an exchange of ideas, shall we?

Electroglodyte said...

What Joshua said.

Does being a conservative Republican mean automatically supporting Bush?

Emily Langton said...

I'm a liberal, and after getting into some rather heated discussions with friends last fall, I decided that not all Republicans are narrow-minded morons. :) In fact, some of them had valid reasons and arguments for their beliefs. I think it's possible for conservatives and liberals to be friends, and to work together, as long as they respect each other's right to have opposing opinions.

Craig Mazin said...

"Does being a conservative Republican mean automatically supporting Bush?"


No. Of course not. For instance, I would much prefer John McCain as President than GWB.